Everything we have close to us, ..all the love, and all the emotions attached to love, people (family/otherwise), work (creative/otherwise), and play; even the simple thoughts which may or may not plague, and the paper-cuts, ..sometimes the larger wounds. All of these things are nothing compared to True Enlightenment. No matter how much we learn to "let go" or "move on" ..there's always going to be another branch to hold again in front of oneself, or a future goal that is where our path takes us.
Our humanity is directly linked to what we experience, if a man is brought up with kindness and gentle natures then he will, more chance, become the same; as we associate we become. Yet if that same man is brought up with hate, and fear, and abuse...he will become that as well through the same method.
As recent as this month I have been going through some serious "struggles" as my Mother would say. Not so much with my lot in life, but with this unrelenting lamenting nostalgia for some things in my past. If I began a list of what's on my plate right now I would be here writing, and writing, and writing all about the different levels of struggle I have been going through, along side people just like you that are reading this. I will concentrate though, and try to stick to basics.
Some one close to me, who will remain private, almost successfully attempted to take their own life. And look away now if you don't think you can handle the rest... I do know that this person has been of service in his life, not only to his family, but also to his peers and greater. I do not see this person often as I would like, but still, I never saw it coming.
I myself could not ever touch on what brings a person to want to give away something so precious as ones own Life. I have had instances where the thought has crossed my mind, ...but only in fantasy of the "letting go" or giving away "pain" to visualization. And woken up the next morning again, to fight again, for the day under our Star, the Sun. I regret that some have not the will to carry on, it's also sadly, a norm people are getting under their skin more and more.
In the backlash of this persons indiscretion, the family, which I know they have love for, have reached out for them. Only to be met with a wounded silent response of broken pride, the Dad needs him, and this person needs their Dad. Please, don't forget that forgiveness is the path to the divine. If we cannot forgive our very children, and our Fathers, what can we do to fight for love? ...unless love is gone; which is a lie.
This and more has been on my mind, as I find more to stack onto the plate of "to do in order to find the divine". This has been my struggle to find the divine, I have been always drawn towards the esoteric, dark, and grey areas of life. It wasn't until my later years that I discovered the very truth about the balance of Light and Dark. And how the alchemy of self happens at some point and we define what is right and wrong, then choose a side to form into...a place where the animus and anima unite. A place of Union.
People are not taught towards Union though, ..they are formed from mostly fear, ignorance and falsity. I have been personally taught, that life is a struggle, and if I'm not strong enough, I will never break free. Even in people close to me there are many that just getting by, by the skin of the teeth, and close calls. Everyone is in the same struggle that I am on some level, maybe not in the same way, but the people like me are asking the same questions about the same things. What goes through your head when you are going into sleep? I bet it's nothing I would ever expect.
Fortunately I am able to be there for the one that truly need me, ...and I am of service to them. There is pride in being there for the long haul, there is hope that there is "enough" will to carry on. I do not fear that that hope will ever die. For I have been in some pretty dark places, far, far away from any light, any savior, and support, and still made it to where I am today. In a place of love, and support, and distancing myself from the dramas of life.
For the people that have cast me and my kin aside, over and over. I understand you. I know why you do these things. I don't agree, or condone..yet I tolerate your ignorance ,for thing that I am is not in darkness. And therefore not in fear. Those that would cast me and my kin aside, you cast away what is the most important gift in life, and you don't even know it.
I was taught how to swim early in life, ...who knew 33 years later it would be a metaphor for life. To just keep the head above water, and learning to dive, learning to "hold your breath". People will take themselves away from me, from you, from family, friends, co-workers, otherwise and we will survive, as will the people that stay close us. We are a power to be reckoned with, when we believe in ourselves enough to demand what is ours to have and keep.
...and still have the power to let it all go and do nothing...that is True Enlightenment.
Maybe for some people enlightenment is about non-action and causality. I agree sometimes it very much is; I also believe enlightenment is being able to identify and overcome any obstacle, no mater which the size, in time, even through many lifetimes, one step at a time. The divine is as close as you want to be, or as far as you make it.
Letting go is great, but letting go of of Power, if the need arises, can be the most catalytic thing. Once one is able to let go of the attachment, and not necessarily the love or energy. Once the attachment is gone ...it's clear what the real priority in this plane is. Finding love, in all thing, even if they are not what we want, expect, dream, hope, or wish for.
In light of my struggles, I have come far; and if you are reading this, you have as well. Don't be afraid to give yourself the love that you want for yourself, not matter what form that love takes, don't be afraid to share it either, there are many that are in need of it. And if you see me ....give me a hug, ...it won't hurt.
