Through theses writing I have pretty much had my way in and out of sometimes seemingly quizzical notions. And I want to believe that there is some good coming from these writings, something that I could be maybe proud of in a humble way, beyond ego and material gain. I can/cannot, in separate breaths, be able completely to feel, and sense and arguably in contact with this. I am proud. I have found my way to the now and I have recently opened my eyes a bit further, not only top to bottom, but also from side to side. I have a bigger picture to look at currently.
I have only a small group of people (including myself) that on a weekly basis touch my life in one way or another, in a deep way at least. I express gratitude as often as I can, and am poorly also often as forgetting of the Universes' gifts to our particular crusade. This doesn't make me, any less of a Man of Earth, or of a Magician, or even the things I am beyond those two forms. In fact, in this action, in my ability to see the constant duality in the coin, and the fine, wonderful, and even, razors edge of that same coin, showing us all that there is a choice we are not always given. To stand beyond our outward toward inward expectations of ourselves, to not conform to the choice given. To find that path that is True, and willful for the part inside yourself that is speaking when we are in joy, and ecstasy...within.
I am fortunate to have a great ability to laugh and enjoy the company of those in my system of existence. Sometimes I get views of others from the outside looking in...I don't think I really see them though. I feel sometimes an empathy, and attraction...but do we really understand each other in our light bodies, the ones of joy and celebration?
I do want to...but Light is not always something we can trust, sometimes when we need we must find our way without that life giving force, sometimes the candle burning in the window on the hill is better to be over looked rather than investigated. Not that I would change any of my stories to lies and forget their lessons and knowledge, but if a wandering soul crosses your path with light that takes life rather than gives it, there are fierce and lowly means the Universe will grant "others" their specific "gifts". I want to believe that the paths of men and women are ones towards the divine, and the things within Spirit. I don't want to forget what I have been living through all of this for. I don't want to forget the cruelties of the past, and how they have shaped the person I want to become. Be discerning whom you trust within the different light(s) in the World.
Certainly there is risk in retreating into the shadow. There waits all of our fears, the Unknowable, the madness of Nothing, the possibility of the Abyss. I don't don't necessarily adhere to any or none of either of those abstract ideas. And still they become very real when given that as sight...instead of just interesting reading.
What I do adhere to is Respect, it's been a lot of growing, but I think I have found it; within and without. I adhere to Love, within and without, with Trust, Tolerance, and Truth. I start every relationship with the proper Peace, that I have to offer. (if only everyone had the same duty)
I may not always get along with everyone, and everything that goes in and around my life and the life's around me. I do though, try to listen to logic, and am learning to not criticize within that boundary. I have learned with the help of that close group of friends/family that criticism is not choosing love. That stereotypes, though often comical/satirical in nature, need to be addressed with more education than anything else. We are still learning, ...and there is a large lesson coming for all of us to pay attention to. Keep your eyes open.
Nobody wins through War and Hate. We need to find our True Nature. The one born in Stars.
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