Lately, I have begun more and more to get drama out of my life. I have told myself, I will no longer invite drama into my home. At first there were some waves, but those waves are gone now, and in it's place is a quiet and comfortable "now". No more loudness and disturbance fills my days. I am even sleeping better.
It's nice to find the place, and time, to get into the moment. Not have to worry about having someone in your space, causing drama. No more is my house filled with drama, at least for a week now. And it's welcome..it's funny you really notice how much it is present, when you notice how much it's gone. The phrase: "you don't know what you got until it's gone.", could not be anymore poignant. Though, some of the time we work at doing just that, getting the overdone, gone and gone for good.
I know that the important parts of my life are not without their value. Regardless of meaning, if it even exists, those moments are the story, and chapters of my now told tale of life. There's another phrase: "NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO". There are several Buddhist philosophies that exist in terms to this phrase. One of them being the potential of the lotus seed, being derived from the depth in the mud. The deeper the seed of the lotus, the many more petals the flower will have. It is a metaphor for the transmutation of the mundane to the divine, through the material world.
I often use this mantra when Im doing my training in the gym, it always brings such fire with it for movement. Which is another mode I have been exploring, movement and motion itself. There's a certain ecstatic nature to moving when one wants to move. (spent many days under the covers hiding from movement) For now though there is movement, and it seems the pace is picking up as well. Which is welcome, ..the days are getting longer now after all.
This Spring is going to be quite the trip to the Okanagan, .and the spaces beyond...big plans to make a difference in my life, and maybe some of the ones close to me. It's good to have the support of those who are close and intimate. Not sexually, but emotionally, for health of all the bodies..intimacy can happen when we share out secrets, our inner dreams, our hopes, ever how we express faith, or belief.
The new job is treating me like a charm, ..seem to have a firm grasp on things I need to know so far. Like any new position in a new industry, ..you learn the rules first so you can learn to break them later, if/only if need be. The owners, and stylist, and my reception trainer(s), they have been so great to me. I haven't made too many mistakes yet, and don't anticipate it either. I assure myself several times a day, that this is where I want to be, where I belong in this now, ..I fought very hard for a position at this salon, and manifested it, ...so far, ..I have learning by leaps and bounds. I am being challenged to think out of my normal box of intention/projection, and that is always welcome. Im a smart kid, ..I sure whatever happens the world is not going to blow up on me.
Three months of probation, and I should be well on my way into the Hair Salon Industry. Searching options is always a good idea, especially when ones like myself tend to operate with some boundary on option. There are things that I will just not do anymore. I have made some strong choices over the past year and six months. Let us hope Ive made the right choice for me, the right choice for the "future" which I so honestly want to find.
Whatever happens, I have a new learning mode, and the blood is rushing through the veins quite full on now. I ran nearly a 3.5m stretch in 30mins. on the elliptical trainer at the gym. And really seeing the difference in breath in long cardiovascular training sessions. Pretty eye opening, to say the least..over eight months of non-smoking of cigarettes, ...pretty awesome.
All in all ...there is a balance forming beneath the surface, ..one I haven't seen for a while. I am learning finally how to be less vulnerable in social situations, ...by a most obvious tactic. Simply let people think what they want to think, ..don't throw them off by opening your mouth too soon. One last phrase: ..."Silence is Golden" ...we all want to be part of the divine innate in ourselves. There is the mantra, and then there is silence.
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